Meet the Clause
by taylorwwjd
Summary: Calvin's dad tells him that Santa is not real, and Calvin tries to prove he's wrong. But when he accidentally gets rid of the real Santa, can he make sure that everyone still has a merry Christmas? DISCONTINUED.


**MEET THE CLAUS**

It was Christmas Eve. Calvin's parents were currently putting up the Christmas Tree – they had a real one – in it's holder and putting up ornaments. They invited Calvin, but he said he had some sort of project.

Calvin's dad was running back and forth to put water in the holder. He had a huge jug that was undoubtedly too heavy for him, considering it took him 15 minutes to make one run with the jug, and there was only a 15 foot distance to cross.

Calvin's mom was hanging ornaments on the tree from other Christmas'. Many of them were chipped because Calvin had found some way to break the ornaments, even though it was usually accidental. That's why they were hanging it up on the night of Christmas Eve. Calvin was getting ready for bed now, and there was nothing he could do to destroy them when he was in bed.

Suddenly, there was a squeal, like something that was slippery sliding across the floor. Another squeal. And then a yell of delight.

Then in bounded Calvin from the hallway, wearing his pajamas and… the Christmas stockings on his feet? Calvin's seemingly dormant stuffed tiger Hobbes was also wearing stockings that looked like they would fall off at any moment.

"Look out! Coming through!" Calvin yelled as he "skated" across the slippery hardwood floor. He held Hobbes in one hand as he approached his dad. He skated three circles around his dad who was carrying the jug of water. Calvin skated away just as his dad dropped the one gallon jug of water on the ground. Calvin yelled in delight as he slid across the floor crazily.

"Uh oh!" Calvin said to himself as he flew towards the table. Calvin ducked and banged his tiger against the table, making it seem as though Hobbes hit the table and fell over. Calvin dropped Hobbes and continued sliding as the water covered more and more of the floor. Calvin flipped over and was now flying headfirst toward the Christmas Tree on his back.

Calvin's Mom stepped out of the way. The Christmas Tree's fate was inevitable. Calvin crashed into the Christmas Tree's pines as the ornaments started dropping from the branches. Calvin winced as he heard many crashes.

Calvin's Mom jumped to save the angel on top of the tree from hitting the ground. She managed to catch it, but that could hardly make up for the 50 other shattered ornaments.

"Calvin! Go to your room!" his dad yelled.

"But what about Christmas…?" Calvin asked, actually seeming scared of the prospect of no Christmas.

"You'll get no Christmas!" his dad replied.

"What about Santa?" Calvin asked defiantly. Calvin's mom rushed to stop her fuming husband, but was too late.

"There is no Santa." he said.

"AHHHH!" Calvin screamed and ran up to his room.

* * *

Calvin arrived with Hobbes in the bedroom in shock. He could only stare and mumble. Hobbes pulled him into bed and grabbed a paper bag from Calvin's last "science project". It was supposedly an alien mask, but it would work to stop Calvin from hyperventilating.

"Now I think we put the paper bag over your head." Hobbes said. Calvin wanted to tell Hobbes he was supposed to breathe into the bag, but he couldn't in his shock state. Hobbes tried pulling the bag over Calvin's face.

"It doesn't seem to want to fit. Maybe we can tape it down." Hobbes said, and grabbed duct tape and strapped the mask around Calvin. The bag only went over Calvin's nose and above (it was a small paper bag) so Calvin's lips got caught in the duct tape.

Calvin grasped his throat and made gagging motions before falling backwards over the bed. Calvin reached a hand up to the bed and Hobbes got the hint. "Should I take the duct tape off?" Calvin nodded.

"Now this will hurt just a little…" Hobbes said. He grabbed the edge of the duct tape and ripped. Calvin made a muffled scream (as much of a scream you can make if your lips seemingly just got ripped of by duct tape) and slapped Hobbes before going back into his shock mode once more.

"Calvin just take a deep breath and calm down." Hobbes said, trying to calm down Calvin. He was getting nowhere.

"Now I think you have to raise your feet in shock… um, I'll get your Boy Scout Manual." Hobbes said.

Hobbes grabbed the manual. "Ooh. Did you see they have a motto? I always wanted to be a Boy Scout, but I hate having to go to meetings. You know what I'm saying? Us jungle cats have to be wild. Parties are more our style. Do you think your mom has a party planning book?"

Calvin made motions that he was going to get Hobbes. "Oh, yeah. Your shock. Let's see…" Hobbes flipped through the book, not even reading the pages. "Nope. Can't find it. Let's see what doctor Hobbes can do."

Hobbes grabbed some glue and stuck some on the ceiling. Calvin raised an eyebrow, wondering what he was doing. Suddenly Hobbes grabbed him by the feet. Calvin let out a silent shriek as Hobbes stuck his feet to the ceiling and let him just hang there. Calvin suddenly got a grip.

"…no santa…" Calvin just murmured and then breathed slowly. This was the first thing Calvin had said tonight.

"No Santa?" Hobbes asked quizzically.

"Dad… my dad said… no santa…" Calvin tried to speak but was still in shock.

"This is progress. Now just try writing what happened on paper." Hobbes said, passing Calvin up some paper for drawing.

Calvin scribbled down some stuff. He handed it to Hobbes. It was a comic book. The first panel had Calvin and Hobbes sliding down the living room. The second panel showed Calvin's dad spilling water. The third panel had … a crazy space squirrel?

Calvin smiled sheepishly and pointed to the next panel. That one had Calvin crashing into the tree and causing the ornaments to fall. The fifth panel (well, fourth if you don't count the squirrel drawing) had Calvin's dad yelling at Calvin saying that Santa was not real. The sixth panel had Calvin with a paper bag over his head.

"So let me get this straight… your dad said Santa isn't real and that's why you're scared." Hobbes said.

Hobbes cringed and looked at Calvin's head. "All the blood is rushing to your head. It's getting big." Hobbes was suddenly struck with an idea. "I'll get your Brain Builder. Maybe the shock will send you back to normal."

Hobbes grabbed the Brain machine and put the colander on Calvin's head. Calvin had to secure it there, since he was upside down. Hobbes punched it on and the electricity made Calvin fall from the ceiling. Good news, he landed on the bed. Bad news, he landed on the bed's edge and fell off the instant he moved.

"Okay, yeah. You got it right. Dad says there's no… no…" Calvin started.

"Don't even go there! What does he know?" asked Hobbes.

"Yeah! What does Dad know? And to prove him wrong, we'll find Santa tonight!" Calvin said.

"Yeah! Wait, what did you say?" Hobbes asked.

"It's so simple! When Santa comes, we'll take a picture and have our proof!" Calvin said.

"You're kidding." Hobbes replied.

"No, I'm absolutely serious." Calvin said. "Tonight we'll get Santa on film. But first, act like you're asleep."

"Okay…" Hobbes did just that.

Four hours later, at 11:30, they heard a loud thump. Calvin grabbed the camera and started out into the living room. Hobbes was really asleep.

Right there, in the living room, was Santa Claus. He grabbed the camera and took a picture. Suddenly, Santa fell over, as if struck by lightning. Calvin suddenly had a horrible thought. Had he killed Santa Claus with his camera?

**What do you think? Review me, please!**


End file.
